Clipping Wings
by Anonamazing
Summary: ' "Look, Mr. J," Harley sang as she stood up, swinging Robin's cape over her shoulders and tying it in a messy bow. "Think I'd make quite the sidekick, don'tcha recon?" "Hey, don't give the Batsy any ideas," Joker grinned, "he'll be auditioning soon enough, I should imagine, with the soon-to-be departure of his current kid in tights.' A re-imagining of the death of Robin.


**Clipping Wings**

**Chapter One: An Unsavory Gift**

Harley nudged open the loose warehouse door with her foot. Dragging the limp body was proving to be more difficult than she had expected; she grunted forcefully as she attempted to get the boy over the concrete and into the desk chair on the other side of the room. Achieving success, she hummed happily and unclipped the handcuffs from her belt.

"Ohh, Mr. J's gonna be so happy to see you, Bird Brain," she chirped quietly as she locked the arms of the semi-conscious boy behind him, "he'll be so excited. Ohh, I can't wait!"

Harley patted the boy lightly on the head, before clipping off his cape and draping it over his head.

"Perfect!" She exclaimed with happiness, tweaking the edges of the cape as to completely cover the boy's limp form. She promptly stood up, touched her toes and set two high kicks, skipping to the side wall and bending back with her arms against it as far as distance would allow her.

"Honey," called a crisp voice, "I'm home!"

"Ooh, goody!" sang Harley, springing upright and smoothing the creases of her red corset, "come right in, sweetie!"

The lights flickered on, and the clown strode proudly into the room, hair a vibrant, acidic green, face white as paper, lips the colour of drying blood.

"I got you a present," smiled Harley, spinning on her heel and announcing, "Happy April Fools Day, Mr. J!"

"Ooh goody, you remembered!" pranced the clown, clapping his hands excitedly, "let me see, let me see!"

"Not until you give your Harley a kiss," swept the woman, swaying over to the clown and sinking her fingers into his lapels. The clown grinned hungrily at her, then pressed his lips against hers with a fire. The two remained locked like this for a few more moments, then a small moan emmited from the boy in the chair. The clown pushed away the face of the girl and raised his eyebrows in a knowing fashion, a smirk playing on his features.

In one swift motion, the clown was before the bundled mass of the boy, and sharply whipped the cloth from his head. Harley gingerly tugged at the sleeve of the clown, who turned his head and grabbed hold of her again, planting a kiss on the side of her neck. Another groan came from the rousing boy, and Joker lifted his head from Harley,

Grinning at him.

"Why don't you just get a room, Bird Boy!" He called to the slacken form.

"That doesn't quite make sense," grumbled Robin, rousing to full consciousness, then with a haughty smirk, "Puddin'."

"Quiet you!" Hissed the clown, smacking the boy in the side of the head, then jumping behind him and clicking his ankles merrily. Harley laughed as the clown feverishly inspected his gift with an air of wonderment.

"Oh, yay, yay! Just the one I wanted! Oh, Harley, you shouldn't have!"

"Well, I don't know," grinned the girl, skipping before Robin and leaning into his face sweetly, "it was either this or socks again."

"Headbutt," growled Robin.

"-What?"

With full force, the grinning Robin bashed his forehead against Harley's, and the girl went flying backwards into the Joker.

Growling, the clown smacked Robin over the head with the closest object- unfortunately for the boy wonder, a loose brick. The boy fell limply from the seat and coughed on the floor, blood pooling from his nose.

"Nobody hits my Harley except ME!" Roared the clown, aiming a swift kick at the boy's chest. Satisfied with the boy's state, Joker gave a sigh and turned to the girl lying dizzily on the floor.

"Harley," he sighed, extending his hand and helping the fallen girl to her feet, "you really ought to learn how to wrap your gifts properly."

"Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie," chimed the girl, a worried edge speckling her voice, "I- I didn't mean to let him... I was just so excited to see you... Please don't be-"

"I'm not mad," smiled the clown, squeezing Harley's sides. The girl grinned up at him with delight, only to gasp a whimpering shriek as he slapped her forcefully across the face.

"Just get it right next time!"

"Sorry, Puddin'!" said Harley hurriedly before she could be struck again, shying away from him as to avoid further abuse.

"Now," grinned the Joker, crouching down to Robin's level, "it's time for us to have some fun, my good man! Harley-"

"I know, Puddin', I'll go. Shall I put some dinner on? We've got candy in the cupboard and I'm pretty sure there's some rice-"

"No, no, no, my sweet! I want you to stay right here- you can be my little assistant!"

"Really?!" Chimed Harley excitedly, light filling her eyes, "you'll let me stay?! Oh, Puddin'!" Harley jumped up at him and locked him in a needy embrace.

"Yes yes, go on, get-" Joker pushed her away and dusted off his purple suit.

"Now... Harley, dear, fetch me my tools of the trade, if you please."

"Right away, Mr. J!" She called, then skipped to the other side of the building and dissapeared through the door.

Joker waited expectantly, tapping his foot and humming fervently.

"Have you got it?!" He called a minute or so later.

"I can't see it!" Harley replied, her voice muffled through the tin doors.

"Try the wardrobe. The wardrobe, Harley. Harley, look... Harley... LOOK IN THE WARDROBE!"

"Oh, yeah!" She sang from the next room, and a few seconds later she returned dragging a black bin-liner, filled to the brim with metal objects. She tore the side and a flood of weapons poured from the cocoon, metallic and menacing.

"Now, let's see what Santa has in his sack today!"

Joker let out a groan as he pulled a bazooka from the gaggle of weaponry.

"Too quick," he said, lugging it across the room. He crouched down over the heap and flicked away a couple of knives, fiddled with a double-barrel and grimaced at a meat cleaver.

"Too messy," he said, as he cast a rather menacing-looking cheese grater across the floor in Harley's direction. She stepped over it, approaching the pile as a rather appealing-looking something caught her eye.

"This simply won't do," exclaimed Joker as he unfolded an old cut-throat razor blade, then gurned at a rusting knuckle duster before rolling away a chipped baseball bat.

"How about this?" said Harley, crouching the other side of the pile and picking up a heavy hammer-like mallet, straight out of a tool kit.

"No, no, dear," Joker dismissed as he examined a sawn-off shot gun, "That simply won't do, we're not barbarians after all."

Harley held up a pair of heavy-duty pliers to her eye level and examined them with her head tilted and an anxious expression.

"These look pretty nasty," she said, taking up a drill in the other hand.

"Indeed they do," said Joker. "Take them over and I'll just- there! THERE, I said! ...Perfect. Oh, look, Harley- a crowbar!"

"Ooh!" squeed Harley, "what'ya recon, Puddin?"

"I think we've found our winner," grinned the clown, bending to his knees and springing upwards, swinging the crowbar with him. He swiveled on his heel dramatically before taking three great strides across the room, landing him beside Harley, who was now bent over the dazed boy wonder.

"Look, Mr. J," she sang as she stood up, swinging Robin's cape over her shoulders and tying it in a messy bow. "Think I'd make quite the sidekick, don'tcha recon?"

"Hey, don't give the Batsy any ideas," laughed Joker, "he'll be auditioning soon enough, I should imagine, with the soon-to-be departure of his current kid in tights. Now come on, Harley dear... let's get down to business."

**AN: Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this little fic. If anyone wants more, let me know, and I'll get to it; if not, it can remain as a little one-shot. Wrote this years ago, thought I'd upload it- better here than stored away on my computer ;D**

**Thanks for reading, and have a lovely day!**


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